


Separation Anxiety

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [51]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, Post-Series, Romance, Therapy, the fluff before the storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27781147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: A work trip takes Ellie to London and leaves the rest of the family floundering in her absence.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Domesticated [51]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554
Comments: 55
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 51 -- too much? I imagine this series is incredibly daunting to anyone who would just be starting now. A truly insane phenomenon. Am I insane? Oh well. Thank you so much to those who have stuck with me.

It’s after 11:30 at night when Ellie turns her key in the front door. She yawns as she takes off her shoes in the foyer, then yawns again as she trudges up the stairs.

The bedroom door is slightly ajar and Alec can hear her heavy footsteps drawing closer. He puts down his book and takes off his glasses just as she appears.

“The prodigal wife returns.”

“Ugh.” She shrugs out of her jacket and tosses it in the direction of her hamper. “What’s that film where the cop says, ‘I’m too old for this shit’?”

Alec blinks at her. “…No idea.”

She untucks her blouse and then unzips her skirt. “Anyway that’s me.”

He watches her shimmy out of her skirt and head into the loo, where he can still at least glimpse her from the back.

“You get it all sorted?”

She splashes water on her face. “Finally got a confession after five bloody hours.”

“Well done.” He sits up, one leg tucked underneath him.

She flips the cap off the toothpaste. “I swear we nearly botched the whole thing. Well, Donald nearly botched the whole thing.” She brushes her teeth for a few seconds. “Think we might need to put him on leave. His mother’s so ill he can’t concentrate.”

“Right.” He nods. “We can speak to him about it on Monday.”

“How’s everything here?” She asks, returning to the bedroom. “Tell me something good.”

“Not much to tell, I’m afraid.” He watches her unbutton then remove her blouse, wandering around in her underwear. “Fred was at Ryan’s most of the evening, straight to bed upon his return. Saw Tom for all of five minutes when he came home around ten and heated up some leftovers.”

She pulls a t-shirt out of the drawer then sets about removing her bra and changing her knickers.

“Was just me and the baby. Supper on our own and everything,” he tells her. “Nothin’ like a bit of quality time with your eleven-month-old.”

Ellie pulls the t-shirt on over her head then walks over to the bed. “Was she marvelous?”

“An utter delight, as always.”

She pulls back the duvet on her side of the bed then crawls in beside him, curling up to him, head on his chest.

“Can’t believe come morning I’ll have gone almost twenty-four hours without seeing her,” Ellie says with a sigh.

He kisses the top of her head, then reaches for the video monitor on his nightstand. “Here, have a look.”

They watch their sleeping baby for a moment, the rise and fall of her chest, pacifier in her mouth.

“Amazing.”

He sets the monitor back down. She squeezes him tighter. “Mm. Nice and warm.”

“Nice and _soft_ ,” he returns the compliment.

“Found out something today,” she mumbles exhaustedly. “The Lenham case is going to trial in London next week. Crown wants me to testify since two of the assaults were in Broadchurch.”

He raises his head a bit to look down at her. “In London?”

She nods into his chest. “Mmhm. Putting me up in an hotel. Have to go up on Monday.”

“ _This_ Monday? In two days Monday?”

“Not ideal, I know,” she says.

“For how long?”

“Hard to say, reckon two or three days perhaps?”

Alec blinks rapidly. “Two or three days in London.”

Ellie yawns, heavy eyelids drooping. “Can we discuss it in the morning?”

He nods reluctantly and kisses the top of her head. “’Course.”

She kisses his throat. “I love you.”

As he reaches to turn off his bedside lamp, he replies, “Love you.”

*

The next morning, Ellie sits at the kitchen table cradling a nursing Aila with one arm while in the other hand she holds her mobile in front of her face. Fred is working in his _Avengers_ colouring book with great concentration and meanwhile Alec, who is fixing breakfast, and Tom are engaged in a heated but friendly argument about whether or not _Die Hard_ is a Christmas movie.

Ellie interrupts them. “They’ve got me on the 8am train to London.”

Alec flips a piece of French toast, then turns to her. He’d almost forgotten. “On Monday.”

“Yeah.”

Fred doesn’t look up from his colouring book, but he does ask, “You’re going away, Mumma?”

“Just for a few days, little love,” she replies. “There’s a trial I need to be at. “

He suddenly stops colouring. “But I get my orange belt on Tuesday.”

Ellie exhales. “Oh, that’s right. I’m so sorry, love, Daddy will have to film it for me.”

“But I want you to _be_ there.”

“I’m afraid I can’t get out of this,” she replies sadly.

Aila releases Ellie’s nipple and tilts her head back, sensing some family tension she’d like to be a part of. “Dumdumdumdum.”

Alec folds his arms across her chest. “D’they say when you’ll be back?”

“No. But you know how these things go. It’ll only be a few days. Or perhaps less.”

“Mum,” Tom complains, gesturing at Aila.

Ellie rolls her eyes and gestures Aila back to her breast. “It won’t be so bad. I’ll have Granddad and Auntie Lucy come ‘round.”

Tom stares at her. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“What _they_ gonna do?”

“Just…” Ellie frowns. “I dunno, help out.”

“You don’t think Alec can handle things?”

She glances over at her husband, who appears entirely nonplussed. “I didn’t mean that.”

He holds his hands up. “ _I_ know that.”

“We’re fine, Mum,” Tom insists.

She blinks at him. “…Does that mean _you’re_ going to help out?”

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alec and Ellie smirk at each other.

“All right,” she says. “Good then.”

“ _I_ wanna see Granddad and Auntie Lucy,” Fred weighs in.

“I’ll leave it to your father then,” Ellie decides. “He’s in charge.”

*

Late Saturday evening, Alec and Ellie are sat comfortably on the sofa. Aila is asleep on Ellie’s chest while Fred is passed out with his head in Alec’s lap. Film credits roll on the television.

“We’ve never been apart for three days,” Alec announces out of nowhere.

She turns to him with a sympathetic smile. “We have.”

“That was – that was _once_ , during a row, it’s not the same thing. We didn’t have hundreds of miles between us,” he argues. “We’re together _all the time_ , Ellie. At work, at home.”

“Yes, I realize that.” She reaches out and scratches his head. “It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. We’ve had a good run. And for goodness sake, it’s only a few days.”

He grumbles. “Bit insulted that you’re so unmoved by this.”

“ _Alec_ ,” she sighs. “I’m not exactly thrilled to leave my family for any length of time, to leave my _nursing baby_ behind. But it’s not the last time something like this is going to happen. We’re lucky it’s taken so long.”

Fred stirs a bit, rolling over to the one side.

“It might be good for us, you know,” Ellie continues. “We’ve been spoiled. You’ll get some alone time with the children, I’ll get some alone time _period_ …perhaps not such a bad thing.”

He looks at her in horror.

“Stop that.”

“Didn’t realize you were so thrilled to be rid of me,” he replies with a huff.

She whacks his shoulder. “Don’t start this.”

Then Fred murmurs, “Wait for me, Black Widow.”

Ellie snorts and covers her mouth. Alec arranges the boy against his shoulder and stands.

“Gonna take this one to bed,” he says.

“All right.”

She watches them go, then looks down at Aila, asleep with her mouth open.

“We Hardy girls are strong, aren’t we,” she says. “We don’t let the little things get to us. We’ll be just fine, eh?” She kisses Aila’s forehead. “Not like our wimpy boys.”

Aila yawns. “Amamama.”

“Yes, exactly.”

But she can already feel her eyes watering.

*

On Sunday afternoon, Ellie picks up Fred from Ryan’s house. From the backseat of the car, he is all questions.

“What will you do when you go to London?”

“I’ll be working, love.”

“The whole time?”

“I suspect so.”

Fred sighs dramatically and leans his forehead against the cool car window. “Will you miss us?”

“Course I will.”

“Will you miss me the most?”

“Miss you all the same.”

“What if you like London better?”

Ellie squints at him through the rear-view mirror. “What d’you mean, love?”

“What if you like it in London and you want to stay?”

She rubs her temple briefly. “Well, that – that wouldn’t matter, I mean, it’s not – I love living in Broadchurch, but even if I didn’t…it’s not as if I’d ever _leave_ you.”

“Even if you wanted to live in London but Daddy wanted to live in Broadchurch?”

“ _Fred_.” She nearly stops the car. “First of all, fat chance of that. If anyone’s going to choose Broadchurch it’s me, not Daddy. Second, that’s not even a question. I’m only going for a few days and it’s just for work,” she explains. “Lots of Mummys and Daddys go on work trips. You just happen to have parents for whom that’s relatively infrequent.”

Fred just stares at her.

“Daddy and I hardly ever need to go on work trips. That’s why you think it’s strange. But I promise you, for most children, it isn’t,” she tells him. “Doesn’t Ryan’s Daddy go away sometimes?”

Fred tilts his head to the side. “Maybe yeah.”

“And he always comes home, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“Right then, there you have it.”

“Okay.” He looks out the window again. “Can we have noodles for supper?”

She smiles, turning the car onto their street. “You’ll have to ask the chef.”

*

“You’re going to get crumbs in your suitcase.”

Ellie guiltily looks down at the tin of biscuits she is snacking from, placed on the bed directly next to her open suitcase. Alec closes their bedroom door behind him. Then locks it.

She raises eyebrow at him. “Oh you think you’re going to get laid, do you?”

He stops and stares at her. She doesn’t back down.

“Go on.” She gestures to the sound machine by the door. “Switch it on then.”

He frowns at her and heads for the loo. “Well now I don’t want to.”

She chuckles quietly and continues folding clothes and placing them in her suitcase. The faucet is turned on and she hears him cleaning his teeth.

“I’m obviously going to shag you,” she announces, raising her voice over the sound of the water. “Since I’m leaving in the morning.”

He spits into the sink.

She tosses some underwear in the mesh pouch. “Never done a goodbye shag before.”

With his shoulders slumped, he enters again, stepping out of his trousers and pulling off his jumper.

Ellie looks over her shoulder at him curiously. “I think we should push the baby’s bedtime back thirty minutes. And soon we’ll need to start looking at phasing out her morning nap.”

“Not while I’m single parentin’,” he grumbles at her.

“ _No_ , I’m just saying, start the conversation. Think on it a bit,” she says. “We can ask Molly what she thinks as well.”

Alec comes up behind her and peeks into her suitcase. “You reckon Molly’s going to vote in favor of _eliminating_ a nap?”

“I think we can trust Molly to give us her honest opinion.”

His arms circle her waist and he plants a kiss on her neck. “I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

She closes her suitcase then leans back into him. “Hello,” she says softly, covering his hands with hers.

He kisses behind her ear. “Hello.”

“I do miss you already, you know.”

“Mm.” He unbuttons her jeans, slides down the zipper, then slips his hand in. “Don’t go.” His other hand slips up under her jumper and goes to her breast. “Stay with your hopeless husband.”

She smiles and tips her head back against his shoulder. “My husband is not hopeless.”

“He’s hopeless for _you_.” He strokes her through the thin fabric of her knickers. “Can’t keep his hands off you. How on earth is he goin’ to manage with you hundreds of miles away?”

“He’s very capable.” She bites her lip. “Can do anything he sets his mind to.”

He slips his hand _into_ her knickers now and quickly finds her clit.

“Oh dear,” she breathes in. "Very efficient."

He nips at her earlobe. With sudden determination, she quickly begins pulling down her jeans and yanking them off her. Then she turns around to face him and he pulls her jumper over her head. She attacks his lips with hers, grabbing him by the neck, then suddenly stops.

“We should make a sex tape.”

He blinks at her, flushed and utterly baffled. “What?”

“If we made a sex tape you could watch it when I’m not around,” she suggests brightly.

His expression immediately morphs into a grimace. “Not makin’ a _sex tape_ , Ellie.”

“Well not _now_ of course, we haven’t got the proper equipment.”

He reaches back to unhook her bra. “Can we just – focus on the task at hand for now?”

She grins. “Literally.” Then shoves her hand into his briefs.

“Fuck you’re – “ He groans. “Impossible.”

With a devious cackle, she pushes him onto the bed then crawls over him. Somehow both gentle and rough, she peels his briefs off him then surveys what’s waiting for her underneath. She wets her lips and he nearly passes out. She licks the tip of his hard cock with her tongue and massages his inner thighs.

“ _Ellie_.”

And then:

“ _Mummaaaaa_.”

The sound of a little hand trying and failing to open the locked bedroom door.

“MUMMA OPEN.”

“ _fuck fuck fuck_ ,” Alec curses under his breath, turning over and covering himself with a throw blanket.

Ellie hops off the bed, throws on her dressing gown, and goes to the door. Standing on the other side of a pitiful-looking half-asleep six-year-old, stuffed giraffe hanging from his hand.

“What’s the trouble, little love?” She kneels down to his height.

“Have to sleep with you,” he whines. “Because you’re going away.”

“Come here, sweet boy.” She pulls him against her and squeezes him tight. “You’ll hardly notice I’m gone, I promise you. With school and playdates and karate, it’ll be like no time at all.”

“But you won’t _be_ here,” Fred argues, wiping his nose on her. “And I won’t know where you are.”

“ _Fred_ ,” she says softly, stroking his hair. “You’re nearly seven years old. You’re a big boy now. You have to be a good example for your sister. Show her how brave you are.”

He frowns at her. “She’s a _baby_. She doesn’t _know_.” Then he tugs on her dressing gown. “Please Mumma. Wanna sleep in your bed.”

With a sigh, she looks guiltily back at Alec, watching from the bed.

“Yeah,” he exhales reluctantly. “All right, mate.”

Fred throws his arms around Ellie’s neck and she hoists him up. Alec gets out of bed, keeping the throw blanket around his torso.

“Just gonna run through a quick shower,” he says.

 _Sorry_ , she mouths to him.

Fred crawls under the covers in the middle of the bed cozily. “Hurry up, Daddy,” he calls out. “I’m _sleepy_.”

Ellie covers her mouth with her hand as she laughs out loud.

*

Alec lays awake for at least an hour before finally drifting off. Fred clings to Ellie like a barnacle all night, so Alec hardly even gets to touch her. When he wakes, Fred’s feet are on his chest, and his face is in Ellie’s breast – exactly where Alec would like _his_ face to be. He stares at the ceiling for at least thirty minutes before he accepts that he is not in fact going to get a goodbye shag from his wife before she leaves town. He hops in the shower – _again_ – and emerges just in time to hear the baby wake up.

He keeps the children downstairs in the kitchen while Ellie gets ready upstairs and puts the finishing touches on her suitcase. He’s made her a hearty breakfast, but by the time she makes it down she only has time for a boiled egg and toast. Fred eats what’s left.

“Lucy will be here in fifteen minutes,” she announces.

Swiftly, she lifts the baby from her highchair and then sits down at the table with her to nurse one last time. Aila is a bit jarred but pleased.

“You look nice,” Alec comments, staring at her as he drinks his tea.

She’s wearing a nice silk blouse, a slimming skirt, and has put on more makeup than usual. Her hair is haphazardly thrown up and pinned, but that’s how he likes it best.

She looks a little breathless when she replies, “Thank you.”

He wonders if she’s excited. If she’s actually _looking forward_ to going off to the city for a few days. But he’s too scared to confirm either way.

Aila is still nursing when Lucy honks her car horn outside. She starts crying when Ellie gently rips her away.

“I’m so sorry, sweet bug.”

Alec takes the baby and quiets her. The entire family then follows Ellie to the door. Alec hands off Aila to Tom so that he can load Ellie’s suitcase into the boot of the car. When he returns, she is kneeling down, cuddling Fred.

“You be a very good boy for Daddy, do you hear?” Fred nods against her chest. “You be a good listener. And be sweet to your sister. And we’ll Facetime after supper, all right?”

“Okay Mumma.”

She stands, then looks at Tom. She touches his cheek then kisses the top of his head.

“Please be helpful.”

“I will, Mum.”

“And be kind. And come home when you says you’ll be home,” she instructs him. “If Alec asks you for help, you give it. Understand?”

“Yes, Mum,” Tom replies with a sigh.

“Good boy. I love you.” She kisses his head again, then the baby flings herself from Tom’s arms into Ellie’s.

“There’s my sweet girl.” She kisses Aila all over. “You take care of our boys now.”

Aila puts Ellie’s necklace in her mouth with a grin. “Mummumumumumum.”

Ellie squeezes her tight, moaning unhappily. “Oh my sweet baby.” Aila starts to whine a bit. “All right, all right. You’re none the wiser, I know. Better that way. I love you _so much_.” She kisses her all over again, then hands her back to Tom. “Off to your brother again.”

“Well.” She exhales. “Be good. All of you.”

Lucy honks the horn again. Alec takes Ellie’s hand and guides her to the car.

“And _you_ ,” she says, pulling him in for a kiss. “Thank you for everything. I’m sorry we’ve not gotten to…” She clears her throat. He groans and hides his face in her neck. “I love you madly.” She kisses his ear.

“Love you too,” he murmurs into her neck.

She pulls back a bit and pats his chest. “I’ll ring when I get in.” He nods. “Be good. Careful that old Shitface doesn’t come out at work in my absence.” She looks at him sternly.

He simply stares at her.

“Be fair to our colleagues. Be patient with Dad and Lucy. And please don’t take Fred’s crankiness to heart,” she tells him. “Apart from our honeymoon he’s never been away from me longer than a night.”

“I know.”

She kisses him fervently until Lucy honks the car horn. “You’ll miss your sodding train, you will!”

They break apart reluctantly.

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you.”

She squeezes his hand, then he opens the car door for her. As the car pulls out of the drive, Alec returns to his family on the porch. He takes Aila from Tom. They all wave, including Aila, who thinks it’s an absolutely delightful game. For Alec, it’s a game he already feels he’s lost.

*

The minute Ellie is seated on the train, she puts in her earphones. She blasts David Bowie. And she looks out the window with a smile.

When her train pulls into Waterloo Station, she quickly grabs her suitcase and scrambles onto the platform. She feels a sense of both anticipation and trepidation fluttering within her. She hasn’t seen so many people in one place since…possibly the airport in Glasgow and truly not even then. Her eyes are drawn in every direction. She can’t help thinking about all the different kinds of _food_ that awaits her. The coffee. The cocktails. Possibly even the shopping.

Then she spots a familiar figure waving in the crowd on the opposite side of the lobby. Her school friend, Annie. She very nearly breaks out into a sprint.

“I can’t believe you’re really here!” Annie exclaims, pulling her into a hug.

“Frankly neither can I.”

“Come on then.” Annie guides her toward the exit. “Are you certain you don’t want to stay with me in Brixton?”

“Not ‘til I’ve at least seen the room they’ve got me in,” Ellie replies with a laugh. “Do you have any idea how rare it is that I get to sleep in a hotel room? All to _myself_?”

“Right, fair enough,” Annie replies as they step outside into the fresh air. “Let’s get you to your hotel then. And later – cocktails at a posh restaurant. Followed by supper at a posh restaurant. Followed possibly by dancing at a posh disco?”

Ellie looks at her with wide eyes. “You’re absolutely _insane_ , you do realize I’m a mother of four.”

“All the more reason!”

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm procrastinating real things so here you go.

Ellie collapses on her queen-sized hotel bed and fans out like a starfish. She closes her eyes and smiles, listening to the din of the city streets and reveling in the stillness around her.

Then her mobile vibrates.

It’s Alec, of course. **Train should have arrived by now.**

She chuckles quietly to herself and shakes her head as she types her response. **Just got to the hotel. Have a meeting with the prosecution in an hour. Ring you later. Xx**

She can almost _hear_ him grumbling in response, then tossing his mobile down on his desk.

With considerable pep in her step, she unpacks her toiletries, hangs up her dress suits, and sets up her breast pump by the chair in the corner for later. “So very glamorous,” she comments out loud.

On her way to the meeting, her mobile buzzes again. Annie has texted her an address. **Meet me here at 6:30.**

It’s so exciting! She’s going to go _out_! And _do things_! With people, in public!

She decides that she deserves a fancy latte and a fancy scone from a fancy coffee shop. She leaves the barista a large tip then continues on her way.

*

By three in the afternoon, Alec has left his office only twice, both times to use the loo. He has brought with him a large jug of water and an electric tea kettle for his personal use so he does not even have to use the kitchen or the break room. He makes cuppa after cuppa without having to speak to a single soul.

He refuses to walk past Ellie’s office, dark and closed off.

At 4pm, he texts her again, after having initially ignored her last response to him.

**Hotel all right?**

She responses forty-five minutes later. **Quite nice thx.**

And then: **:-)**

He sighs heavily. He’s not sure what he _wanted_ her to say. They’d damn well better have gotten her a nice hotel room. But also…not _too_ nice. He wants her to _want_ to come home.

He grudgingly responds. **Good.**

*

At 6pm, she has changed her clothes and done her makeup. She wears a long-sleeved, curve-hugging black dress with a respectable v-neck. If she put a jacket on it, it would be upscale professional. But sans jacket, even she must admit it’s quite fetching. After she applies her lipstick and blots, she double checks the contents of her handbag, then collapses into a chair with her mobile.

Alec answers her FaceTime call and there’s immediately a cacophony of sound through the speakers. Aila screeching (pleasantly) and Fred yelling about too much vinegar on his chips.

“Oh, dear. Hello??”

The picture spins around a bit. Alec righting the iPad and leaning it against something, she supposes.

“Hang on,” he grumbles.

“Mumma!” Fred exclaims and suddenly his face appears on screen.

“There you are, my little love,” Ellie greets him. “What’ve you got there?"

“Chicken strips and chips,” he replies. When he shows her his plate, a few chips fall off. “Daddy put too much vinegar on my chips.”

“Did he.” She smirks. “And what else’ve you got?”

Fred frowns. “ _Broccoli_ ,” he says. “Daddy says I can’t have dessert unless I eat every bite.”

“Ah, well. There’s not much there. Reckon you can manage it.”

“He can and he _will_.” Alec’s voice. Then the iPad shifts to Aila in her highchair, smashing soft pieces of broccoli into her mouth happily. “ _This one_ has no complaints.”

Ellie chuckles. “She truly is your child.”

“I am too!” Fred complains. “Just because broccoli is gross doesn’t mean I’m not his child!”

Alec shifts the iPad toward Fred.

“I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” Ellie says. “Only joking. How was your day?”

“Well.” Fred bites into a chicken finger and chews. “I had to read in front of the whole class but I got most of the words right! And I skinned my knee at recess but it didn’t really bleed.” He takes another bite.

“Not _such_ a bad day then,” she replies. “Did the nurse clean it up for you?”

“Yeah. I have a _Peppa Pig_ plaster,” he tells her. “Wanna see?”

“Maybe later, Fred,” Alec interjects, turning the iPad back to Aila, whose arms are outstretched.

“Mmmmmaaaaaa,” Aila whines, trying to get her attention.

“Yes, sweet bug, I see you. Are you being a good girl for Daddy?”

Aila waves at the screen, flexing her fingers. Some broccoli falls out of her mouth in a half-chewed clump. She reaches for more pieces of it and then holds them out for Ellie to see.

“Baba,” she says matter-of-factly.

“ _Broccoli_ , that’s right, thank you.”

Aila shoves it into her mouth.

“I’d like to see _Daddy_ please,” Ellie says loudly.

After a bit of shifting around, Alec’s face appears, a bit wan and grumpy.

“Hello, you,” she says. “All right?”

He stares at her, then clears his throat. “Goin’ out?”

“Oh. Um.” She instinctively reaches to touch her hair. “Meeting Annie for drinks and dinner. Must leave in a few.”

“Don’t do yourself up like that for _me_.”

Ellie scoffs. “I _beg_ your pardon.”

“Sorry,” he replies softly. “You’re very lovely.”

Her insulted expression softens. “Thank you, my love.”

“MUMMA!” Fred calls out. Alec sighs and turns the iPad back to him.

“Daddy said we can watch _Rogue One_ tonight. THE WHOLE THING.”

“Wow,” she replies. “What a lovely Daddy you have.”

Fred squeezes too much ketchup onto his chips.

“Easy, lad,” Alec’s voice warns him.

“And TOM GOT YELLED AT,” Fred continues.

“He got _yelled_ at?” She raises an eyebrow. “Whatever for?”

“Not yelled at,” Alec clarifies from off-screen. “He was meant to take your car and fetch Fred from Ryan’s before supper. But instead he took your car, fetched Chelsea, fetched two more of their mates, and _then_ got ‘round to Fred, twenty minutes late. Dropped him off with a whole caravan in tow. So now he’s in for the night. He’s taken his supper upstairs.”

“Oh, dear.”

Aila starts banging and screeching. Alec adjusts the iPad to face her.

“Are you not getting enough attention, little girl?” Ellie says to her.

“Mumumumum,” Aila says happily, as if she’s not done a thing.

“Listen, I’ve got to dash,” Ellie announces. “Turn me back?”

Alec turns the iPad to face him.

“Off to one of your posh restaurants?”

“Not one of _mine_.” She rolls her eyes. “Sorry Tom gave you trouble. I’ll send him a threatening text in a bit.”

“’s all right,” Alec replies. “All in all not a big deal, just don’t want to set a precedent.”

“Does this mean you met Chelsea?”

“She was inside the car, so not really.”

“Blast. Well. I’ll ring you when I get back to the hotel later, all right?”

“When d’you think that’ll be?” He asks.

“Dunno,” she replies honestly. “Few hours? After you’ve put the little ones to bed I imagine.”

“Not ‘til after _Rogue One_!” Fred interjects.

“All right,” Alec replies.

“Enjoy your evening, you three,” she tells him. “I love you all so much.”

“BYE MUMMA.”

“Babababa!”

*

In the hotel elevator descending down to the lobby, Ellie sends her eldest son a text message.

**What happened to being helpful?**

Then she slips her mobile into her bag.

*

After supper, Alec gives Aila a bath while Fred is instructed to get into his pyjamas, clean his teeth, and set up the film. Aila splashes away happily while Alec shampoos what little hair she has. She splutters a bit when she inhales a bit of water, then continues splashing. Every time he seems to drift away, deep in thought, she flashes him a goofy grin until he smiles at her.

Once he’s dried her off and changed her into her monkey onesie pyjamas, they join Fred in the living room again. _Rogue One_ is cued up and the six-year-old is buzzing with anticipation.

But then he frowns. “Thought you were putting her to bed.”

“Not yet, mate.” He plops down on the sofa with Aila on his lap. “Another thirty minutes or so.”

“Don’t wanna pause it.”

“’s all right, I’ve seen it once before.”

Fred groans and climbs up onto the sofa with them. He fixes his sister with a warning glare.

“No noise, Ailie!”

Alec rolls his eyes and ruffles Fred’s hair. “Ah, come off it, lad. Press play then.”

*

Ellie arrives at the posh bar in Islington before Annie does. She receives several apologetic texts about traffic. But she’s not bothered. It’s so rare she gets even a few moments alone with her own thoughts, this trip has already been such a boon. Contentedly, she takes a seat the bar and orders a dry gin martini from bartender.

Within only a few minutes, a man roughly her age takes the stool next to hers. Ellie is startled and looks around to see that its getting more and more crowded around her. But still quiet enough to sip her martini in peace. She’s nearly finished it before the man glances at her.

“Best martini in town.” He lifts his own for emphasis.

“Mm, yes.” She smiles politely and nods. “Quite good. Not that I’m an expert.”

His eyes widen a bit and his lips curve into a smile. “And not from around here.”

Ellie nearly snorts but manages to curb herself, suddenly a bit self-conscious of her accent. “Gosh, how could you tell?” She takes a sip and finishes it off. “I’m from Dorset.”

He nods to her glass. “Can I get you another?”

She frowns in confusion. It’s been years since anyone tried to buy her a drink. She pauses briefly then glances down. She supposes her tits _are_ quite well-served in this dress. Then she looks down further and realizes she has _legs_. And they are on display.

“Oh,” she exhales finally. “I’m, um. You know.” She holds up her left hand, boasting her wedding ring and studded engagement ring. “Married.” Then she suddenly goes red. “Not that you were – sorry, that was awfully presumptuous of me, wasn’t it?”

He’s smirking at her. “No. Not awfully.”

The red in her cheeks turns pink. “Oh.”

“A _friendly_ drink then.”

She smiles and nods. “Fine then. Ta.”

He orders another round from the bartender then turns back to her. “I’m Paul.”

She offers her hand. “Ellie.”

“Good to meet you, Ellie,” he says, shaking it. “So what brings you into the city?”

“Ah, work. Just a brief work trip, two or three days,” she replies.

“And what do you do?”

“I’m a detective.” She straightens her spine. “DI, actually. Court case I need to be in town for.”

“Sounds a bit more thrilling than life as a bank manager,” he admits ruefully.

The bartender slides their martinis toward them then disappears again. They raise their glasses.

“Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

After Paul takes a long sip, he sets the glass back down. “Do you get into town often?”

“Oh god no,” Ellie replies with a laugh. “Hardly ever. Frankly I’d say we get to Glasgow more often than London.”

“What’s in Glasgow?”

She reaches for her water glass. “My husband’s family. Benefits of marrying a Scot, I s’pose. Free holidays in up north.”

“Not a bad deal,” Paul agrees. “My ex-wife was from Reading. Not _quite_ so thrilling to visit.”

Ellie chuckles. “S’pose I’ve been lucky. My ex-husband was from Wales. I’ve done quite well in the family holiday department,” she says. Then with a cheeky tilt of the head, “Apparently I like an accent.”

“Perhaps your _next_ husband will be from the South of France,” Paul quips.

She laughs. “Oh I’d never get _that_ lucky!”

He takes another sip of his martini. “What’s your husband do?”

“He is _also_ a detective,” she replies, reaching for hers. “One rank above me. Though I’ve nearly gotten him to forget that.” She grins.

“You work together then?”

Ellie nods. “We do. Married, small town detectives. We’d be brilliant on telly.”

“If your husband’s as attractive as you are, perhaps you _would_ be.”

She blushes again.

“That remark was purely friendly by the way,” Paul clarifies.

“He is,” Ellie says. “As attractive as I am.” She holds her head high and smiles as she takes another sip.

“Good. Well-matched then.”

She catches him glancing down at her cleavage then. She makes a _tsk_ ing sound. “Careful now.”

He raises his gaze. “Sorry. Won’t happen again.”

Ellie can’t help laughing. She’s surprised to be enjoying herself so much. “Only natural,” she retorts wryly.

“What about children then?” He asks, looking away from her at the shelves of liquor behind the bar.

“Brace yourself,” Ellie warns him, taking a sip. “ _Four_.”

Paul makes a face. “Good lord.”

“I know.”

“What makes?”

“Two of each. And every age you could want,” she replies. “A wide variety, that’s what we like. Eighteen, sixteen, six, and eleven months.” She holds her glass up and toasts herself.

“ _Well done_ ,” Paul tells her. “S’pose that’s got something to do with the _ex-_ husband you mentioned.”

Ellie nods slowly and places her glass down again. “The sixteen-year-old and the six are by my ex-husband. Eighteen-year-old by my husband’s ex. Eleven-month-old is ours together.”

“Something to seal the deal with then.”

Ellie snorts. “More or less.”

Then Paul shakes his head, looking down into his glass. “ _Eleven months_.”

“Yes. I know. Far too old for it.”

“Far too fit, is what I was thinking,” Paul corrects her.

He smiles, but he doesn’t leer. He doesn’t look at her for too long. He is flirty but just respectful and harmless enough that Ellie allows herself simply to enjoy the ego boost.

“Thanks very much.” She raises her glass again cheekily and takes a sip. Then over the rim of her glass she catches a glimpse of Annie entering the bar hurriedly. “Oh. That’s my mate there. Sorry.”

Paul turns and glances toward the entrance. “Ah, you’re meeting someone, of course.”

Ellie smiles sheepishly then throws back what’s left of her martini. “Thanks for the drink,” she says, hopping off the stool. “And for the ego boost.”

“My pleasure.” He reaches for her hand and kisses it curtly. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

She finds Annie in the crowd and they link arms.

“What was all that?” Annie asks eagerly.

“A very nice man was chatting me up!” Ellie answers gleefully. “I _love_ being married, don’t mistake me, but I do miss that!”

*

Ellie and Annie spend an hour at the bar before relocating to a nearby posh restaurant to their dinner reservation. Ellie switches to wine and begins pacing herself, now very much focused on the culinary delights placed before her one by one.

She can’t remember the last time she and Annie had an evening out, or even the last time they were properly alone together. Sometime after Joe’s arrest, she reckons. She has the foggy memory of Annie and her sister, Linda, coming to visit and help out for a few days with Fred. But so much of that time is – mercifully – lost to her.

Ellie tries to keep the conversation as focused on Annie as possible. It’s quite nice to get lost in someone else’s life, someone else’s troubles and triumphs. To be regaled with stories that do not take place in a tiny coastal town where everyone knows everyone. But toward the end of the meal, Annie directs the conversation back to her longtime friend.

“You do seem really, really happy, El.” She leans back in her chair sipping her dessert wine.

“Oh.” Ellie looks down into her brandy and blushes. “Yeah. It’s – I’ve very little to complain about.”

“Now.”

“ _Now_.” She nods in agreement. “There’s a sense of, I dunno, having paid my dues or something. And I know that doesn’t mean I’m home free, I know the road’ll get bumpy again at some point, but I try not to question the… _calm_ of my life now. Try to enjoy it. Now that I know so well what it feels like to have it taken away.”

“You deserve all of it, you know,” Annie tells her. “All the good things.”

Ellie looks down. “Thank you.”

“I need to come visit again soon. See the boys. See _Aila_ , she was only a few months when I last saw her,” she says.

“Oh she’s amazing. Honestly. I swear I’m not biased, this is the third baby I’ve raised, I’m not precious about it anymore,” Ellie insists. “But she really is a lovely bit of magic. I’d never have guessed that somehow Alec and I would be the perfect combination of genes. We’ve somehow made the ultimate human.”

Annie laughs. “Wild to think of all the things that had to happen in order for her to exist.”

Ellie takes a sip of her wine. “Yes.”

Then she feels a few rapid-fire vibrations against her leg, coming from her bag.

“Oh dear. Hang on.” She pulls her mobile out of her bag. “I don’t mean to be rude.”

“No, please,” Annie replies. “You’ve not touched it all evening, you’re allowed.”

Ellie is already scrolling the messages on her lock screen. “Alec, Alec, Tom, Lucy, Daisy, Alec, Olly. Oh goodness. Olly’s found out I’m in London.”

“And what on earth do the rest of the lot want from yout?” Annie asks with a laugh.

“Oh…” Ellie sighs. “Alec has first sent a photo of Aila asleep on Fred’s lap watching a film.” She holds her mobile out to show Annie. “And then he asks if I’m through with dinner yet.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Tom trying to explain himself for something or other. Lucy reminding me to call Olly. And oh. Daisy. ‘Dad says you’re in London – good for you. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’ Lovely girl. And then Alec again. ‘Guess not,’ he says. Oh he’s a grumpy thing.”

Annie is smiling. “You’ve so many people in your life.”

Ellie looks up and raises an eyebrow. “Please, so do you.”

“Not tracking my every move.”

“That’s only because I never go anywhere! It’s a big deal,” Ellie explains. “Let me just text Alec quickly.”

She types out a message: **Finishing up. Xx**

 **“** Do you need to go?” Annie asks.

“Oh, we’re all right,” Ellie replies. “Might get the cheque, I’ve an early meeting, but there’s no need to rush on my husband’s account. He’s a big boy. Contrary to his behavior at the moment.”

“He misses you,” Annie says wistfully.

“We spend absolutely no time apart,” Ellie tells her. “Bit of a shock to the system I’m afraid. But I’m convinced this is good for us.”

“Feeling a bit smothered?”

“No, no, I don’t mean that. Despite his general demeanor, I almost never tire of him,” she replies. “But I think it’s probably healthy for us to have…other things. You know, on our honeymoon, there was one afternoon we spent apart. He went to play golf, I went on a boat tour. Things we just couldn’t interest each other in. And it was wonderful. We both had an absolutely lovely time. And we were somewhat…renewed when we got back to each other. It’s what they say about absence, right?”

Annie nods.

“So I think it’s a bit of that. It’s _difficult_ to be apart, of course, but for a short time, it’s not such a bad thing.”

“Very evolved of you.”

“Well.” She chuckles. “Alec’s not quite on board yet but we’re working on it.” Then she feels a spot of wetness spreading near one of her nipples. She looks down. “Right, s’pose it _is_ time to go then.”

When the server returns, they request the cheque. Then spend five minutes fighting over it.

“ _I_ haven’t got four mouths to feed,” Annie argues. “Besides, you’re the guest.”

And Ellie acquiesces.

They emerge into brisk cold onto the streets. Annie puts Ellie into a taxi before walking off to the tube. Ellie is far too tipsy to direct herself back to the hotel in the dark, in a mostly strange city.

When she wobbles into her hotel room, she immediately kicks her heels off and then smiles when she switches on the lights. A whole room all to herself. She pours herself a glass of water then unzips her dress and falls back into her chair. After setting up the breast pump and taking a breath, she pulls out her mobile and waits for her husband to answer her FaceTime call.

He answers on the third ring, though Ellie is certain he has the iPad right next to him. He’s making her wait. But she’s thrilled to see his grumpy little face.

“Hello,” she greets him brightly, holding her mobile slightly above her.

“You’re out late,” he says, but not unkindly. A careful, slightly wry observation only.

“Am I?” She looks around for a clock. Then squints to see the time on her mobile. “Oh. 11:16. I s’pose that _is_ late for me.”

“How was the restaurant?” He asks. He has the iPad settled on his thighs, legs bent. He’s clearly in bed, got his vintage U2 t-shirt on.

“ _Brilliant_ ,” Ellie replies. “Much food, many martinis.”

He smirks at her. “ _How_ many martinis?”

“Well, there were the martinis. A few, hard to say. Then the wine. Then the brandy.” She briefly glances down and adjusts the breast pump.

He narrows his eyes and listens for a second. “…Are you pumpin’ right now?”

She offers him a lopsided grin. “The martinis were leaking out of me, I had no choice.” She tilts the mobile down to show him, unnecessarily. “Bet you miss _these_. So sexy, aren’t I?”

“You had fun then.” He’s smiling, though it’s a bit grudging.

“Loads,” she replies cheerfully. “How are my babies?”

Alec clears his throat. “Well. I’ve seen Tom once since supper, at which point he apologized. Good lad. Fred did _not_ make it all the way through _Rogue One_. About thirty minutes in, I went upstairs to put the baby down, and Fred was out cold when I got back.”

“Oh.” She makes a distinctly maternal face. “Sweet boy.”

“Aila was out like a light. Think pushin’ back bedtime was a clever idea after all.”

“Good. Good girl.” She yawns. “And what’ve you been into since?"

“ _Ah_ , now’s the excitin’ part,” he tells her. “Since then I have tidied up the kitchen, tidied the living room, started the laundry, watched the news and regretted it, spoken to Daisy for all of ten minutes, showered, fallen down a Google wormhole, clipped my toenails, made an unnecessary online purchase, and gotten through a good fifty pages of my book.”

Ellie blinks at him, eyes wide. “All I’ve done in that time is get pissed.”

“A productive evenin’ for us both.”

“What did you buy?” She asks, shifting positions in the chair while careful not to dislodge the apparatus attached to her.

“An _air fryer_ ,” he replies with equal parts amusement and bitterness.

“Oh, that’s lovely! You’ll love that. You can make all the things _I_ like but prepare them the way _you_ like and we’ll both be satisfied.”

“That was the idea. But we’ll see.”

She props the mobile up on the side table next to her and lays her head against the back of the chair, smiling at him dreamily. “I’m so happy for you.”

He snorts. “Have you got a glass of water? And some aspirin?”

She nods and holds up the water, then takes a sip.

“You’re in court early tomorrow.”

“Yes,” she replies with a sigh. Then she perks up suddenly. “Oh, guess what! A handsome businessman chatted me up at the bar tonight!”

He frowns deeply.

“Oh no, listen,” she says quickly. “Not trying to make you jealous, I just – I told him I was married right away but it was such fun! He looked at me like I was a real person. A fit, cosmopolitan woman. It was lovely.”

“Why were you alone at the bar?”

“Annie was running late, that’s all. I was just amusing myself in the meantime.”

He looks at her a bit sadly, then says, “You _are_ a real person.”

“I _know_ , I just mean…like an exciting woman of the world, that sort of thing,” Ellie explains. “Looking back I could’ve made up a whole new backstory for myself. But that never occurred to me.” She finds herself pouting.

He chuckles. “I’d like to have chatted you up.”

She grins. “Me too.”

Alec raises an eyebrow.

“I’d have liked that too, I mean,” she amends quickly.

“Liked to have seen you in your wee black dress. That _is_ your wee black dress, isn’t it?” He leans in closer to the screen.

“The long-sleeved one, not the one with the pockets.”

“Ah. Yes, I see.”

“Hang on.”

She works at detaching the breast pump and setting aside the milk for now. Then she stands, shimmying out of her dress fully.

“Bear with.”

She grabs the mobile then flops onto the bed on her stomach in her underthings.

“There we are. Hello.”

He has turned onto his side and propped the iPad on one of her pillows. “It’s almost painful to look at you, you know. That’s how lovely you are.”

“Oh, stop.” Her entire chest blushes. “I do miss you so.”

“When on earth have you found the _time_?”

“Little moments,” she answers. “Used to being able to turn to the side and tell you anything, anytime. To look at you, share a look _with_ you. It’s strange without you. I’m having a very nice time, don’t mistake me. But I miss you terribly.”

He smiles crookedly at her. “You miss me _now_ , now that you’re ready for bed.”

Ellie sighs wistfully. “Well. You’re not wrong.” She yawns again. “Have you taken your melatonin? Got your Sleepytime tea?”

He rolls his eyes. “ _Yes_.”

“Good. I’ll not have you losing sleep because I’m not there,” she tells him. “You need all your energy to keep up with those feral offspring of ours.”

“Are you goin’ to shower?” He asks her.

“I should,” she replies sleepily. “Might just have one in the morning.”

“Change into your pyjamas then.”

She stares at him briefly, then plops the mobile down and gets up.

“ _Ellie_.”

After she takes her bra off, she leans over the screen. “Sorry, did you want to watch?”

“Oh just get on with it.”

She changes into a t-shirt and a fresh pair of knickers then picks up the mobile again. “All right.”

“Now get into bed.”

“I’ll just switch off the lights first.”

She carries her mobile around the room with her, deadbolting the door and switching off the lights, then pulls back the duvet and gets into bed. “Putting you on a pillow,” she says, propping her mobile up.

“Did you set your alarm?” He asks pointedly.

“….Hang on.” She picks up her mobile and putzes around for a moment before returning to the FaceTime app. “There.”

He smiles at her. “There’s a good lass.”

“Are we going to stay like this?”

“D’you want to?”

“I’ll lose battery soon enough,” she replies.

“Yes, but you’ll be asleep by then,” he tells her. “Just remember to plug it in again before you hop in the shower.”

“Okay,” she says with a yawn.

“How’s the bed?”

“Heavenly.”

“Better than ours?” Alec asks, pulling his duvet up around his shoulders.

“Not nearly ‘cause ours has _you_ in it.” She snuggles into her pilllow, eyelids drooping. “How on earth do people sleep without a warm body next to them?”

He just smiles at her for a moment.

“El.”

“Mm.”

“I love you.”

Her eyelids flutter open briefly. “Love you.”

“Night.”

One last yawn. “Goodnight, love.”

***


	3. Chapter 3

The first text Ellie receives in the morning is from Alec. It’s a photo of Aila, sitting up on her changing table, grinning with her fingers in her mouth. She stares at the photo for a good two minutes, zooming in and out, then holds the mobile to her chest and sighs. She would give absolutely everything that she has to hold her baby right now.

She treats herself to another fancy latte and fancy scone on her way to court. She’ll be in the box today, but there’s not an ounce of apprehension in her. She’s got this.

She arrives five minutes early and stands outside against the brick wall of the building before ringing Alec.

“Good mornin’, wife,” Alec answers, surprisingly cheery.

“You’re in a good mood,” she replies, grinning to herself like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Not really.” She hears the familiar creak of his office chair. “Just miss you is all.”

“How did you sleep after all?”

“Ah, all right. I was still awake when your battery gave out,” he tells her.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, ‘s all right. Fell asleep eventually. Possible that subconsciously I was _waitin’_ ‘til your mobile gave out ‘cause I didn’t want to give up any precious time lookin’ at you.”

Her cheeks redden and she bites her thumbnail with a grin. “My god this separation has really done a number on you, hasn’t it?” She replies. “That might be the loveliest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

There’s a pause, then he asks, “Are you due in the box today?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “Reckon they’ll be done with me by late afternoon.”

She can hear something in his voice perk up. “So you may come home tonight?”

“Don’t think so, love,” Ellie replies sympathetically. “In the morning, I’d think.”

“Another night,” he says with a sigh.

“We survived one we can survive two.”

“Speak for yourself.”

She rolls her eyes though regrets that he cannot see her do so. “I’ve only got another minute or so. How are my children?”

“Fred was up before Aila,” Alec replies. “S’pose it’s my penance for him fallin’ asleep so early last night. We made blueberry waffles, just to have somethin’ to do.”

“Sweet.”

“Your daughter was a bit miffed when she didn’t get her mornin’ tit buffet.”

“I hate when you call it that.”

“She’s starting to process the fact that you’re not here, I think,” he says, ignoring her comment. “She refused the bottle, apparently deemin’ it an inadequate substitute for the real thing. But she ate her waffles like a champ. Some raspberries too.”

“Really?”

“Should’ve seen the way her wee mouth puckered up at the tartness.”

“Oh, bless.” She glances at her wristwatch. “I’ve got to go, love. I’ll ring you later on, yeah?”

“Right then,” he replies shortly.

“Love you.”

“Love you.”

*

Ellie presents part of her testimony shortly before they break for lunch, with promise to resume at one o’clock. She’s been playing phone tag with Olly all morning and they don’t manage to arrange a lunch date in time, so she walks off on her own until she finds a place that strikes her fancy. She settles on a small café hiding in between two large chain restaurants. Inside it’s relatively quiet, for London, and she finds a table in the back to eat her sandwich and drink her fizzy water. Then she puts her earphones in and props her mobile up on a napkin holder before FaceTiming Alec.

“You again,” he says, albeit with relief, when he picks up.

Ellie squints at the screen. “Are you in the car?”

“Pulled off on the side of a road to eat a cheese and tomato sandwich,” he replies. “On my way back from a shout.”

“Bit sad,” she remarks. “At least I’m eating alone in a _café_.”

“Yeah, in a city where no one knows you.”

“Touché.”

They both take bites of their respective sandwiches then smile.

“Did you say your peace this mornin’?” He asks.

“Partially. We’ll resume after lunch.”

Alec nods, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Think they’ll convict?”

“I don’t see how they could do otherwise,” Ellie replies. “But I’ve not really been in the room ‘til today.”

He nods again. “Baby asked a _question_ this morning, I forgot to tell you.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow. “…What does that mean.”

“Means she babbled with a question mark at the end. You know, her voice went up or whatever.”

She blinks at him. “Oh?”

“Right, like that.” He takes another bite. “D’you know what she asked?”

Ellie laughs. Somehow the idea of their barely verbal baby asking a question is genuinely amusing to her. “What did she ask.”

“Said, as I was leavin’ her with Molly, ‘Mummum?’”

She just looks at him.

“Not jokin’, she looked at me with wide, curious eyes, and said, ‘Mummum?’” He repeats. “Like she was askin’ where you were.”

Her eyes begin to fill with tears. Alec frowns.

“Hey. No, that’s not what I – _El_ ,” he protests. “Think it’s impressive, that’s all. No reason you should feel guilty. You’ll see her tomorrow.”

Ellie looks down and nods, pressing her fingertips to her undereyes. “Right.”

“I said, ‘Home soon.’ Dunno if she understood, tried to emphasize _home_ , thinkin’ maybe she has some sense of the word, but,” Alec continues. “Just think she’s incredibly clever is all.”

“…The idea that she’s wondering where I am,” Ellie says tearfully. “That she understands that I’m gone. Perhaps wondering if I’ll ever come back…”

“Now, now,” Alec chides her softly. “She’s not as clever as all _that_. All she knows is she wants to see you. She has no idea how long you’ve been gone and she has no sense of what it means to be gone forever, so there’s no way for her to contemplate that. So just enjoy the fact that your daughter is clever enough to theoretically form a question, yeah?”

She nods again. “Yeah, all right.”

He waits until she looks at him again. “Now tell me what you’ve got on tonight, you cosmopolitan woman you.”

She smiles. “I think possibly a coffee with Olly once I’m released. Then to Annie’s in Brixton. She’s going to cook and I imagine we’ll drink a bit too much wine and that’ll be that.”

“I’ll look forward to another drunken FaceTime from you.” He smirks.

“Don’t judge. I’m a free woman out here.”

“Not judgin’. Good to see you enjoyin’ yourself.”

She takes a sip of her fizzy water. “Are you doing all right with the kids? Really?”

“Oh yeah.” He nods emphatically. “Glad to have ‘em to myself for a bit. We have shockingly delightful children, did you know that?”

She smiles. “Do we?”

“We do. Quite pleasant to be around as it happens. Decent substitutes for _you_.”

Ellie chuckles. “Well that’s what matters then.”

“Quite funny really. Seein’ so much of you in them. Even moreso when you’re gone, I think. I swear Tom was half a second from callin’ me a _knob_ this mornin’. Had your little annoyed face on,” Alec explains. “Fred has your very deft powers of persuasion. And Aila’s got your ability to light up a room. Massive fan of all of them, I am.”

She stares at the screen a little dumbfounded before her lips curve into a smile. “You’re lovely, you know.”

He tosses his head to the side with a shrug. “Yeah, I know.” Then Ellie’s screen goes blank for a moment. “Ah, gettin’ a call. ‘s work.”

“Right, we’ll speak later then,” she says quickly. “Love you.”

“Love you.”

She finishes her sandwich with a smile on her face the whole time.

*

If Alec had realized that Ellie was going to be away today, he would not have scheduled an appointment with his therapist. But it’s too late to cancel and he grudgingly leaves work early for his 4pm session with Marjorie.

“You seem disgruntled,” she says immediately, before he has even sat down.

He sighs heavily. May as well cut to the chase. “Ellie’s out of town.”

“ _Oh_.” Marjorie sits up straight. “That’s new. Since when and for how long?”

“Since yesterday morning. Until tomorrow,” he replies. “She’s in London for work.”

A smirk quickly forms on her face. “A whole three days.”

He glares at her defensively. “A whole three days longer than we’ve ever gone before. Not since I left Broadchurch after we solved Sandbrook.”

“ _My_.” Marjorie keeps her pen poised. “That’s quite something. How are you feeling?”

“Bloody well annoyed,” Alec grumbles in response. “Not at her. But it’s been, um. She thinks it’s healthy, but _I_ think I don’t like myself very much when she’s not around.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“She makes me better. Keeps me in a good mood, keeps me balanced. Helps me see things clearly.” He crosses one leg over the opposite knee. “Her presence is just very…calmin’ to me.”

“Right. Ellie’s been like medicine for you in a lot of ways,” Marjorie observes keenly.

“…Yeah.”

“This seems like it might be an interesting opportunity for you,” she says. “To note the impact of her influence on you. Ideally medicine starts to heal you with time and eventually you don’t need to take it every day in order to feel your best. Yes? So perhaps Ellie’s effect on you lingers even when she’s away.”

Alec blinks at her. “…Dunno ‘bout that.”

“I understand you’re annoyed, but it’s not as if you’ve reverted back to the person you were before you and Ellie were together. Right?”

“Well, no.”

“You’re still a good husband, a good father, a good person, with or without Ellie,” Marjorie says.

“Well…with or without Ellie _temporarily_ perhaps,” Alec counters. “Three days, fine. Longer than that, who knows.”

Marjorie leans forward a bit. “I don’t think you’re as dependent on Ellie as you believe you are. You may be right that you’re a better person now with her in your life and I’ve no doubt you _feel_ better with her around, but you’re still you, wherever you go. The change that Ellie has brought to you doesn’t go away when she does. You’ve _grown_ with her. You don’t… _shrink_ without her.”

“Ha,” Alec says dryly. “ _Shrink_.”

Marjorie all but rolls her eyes.

“Do you see what I’m saying?”

“I do, I see what you’re sayin’,” he admits. “’m not as thick as I was when we first started.” He smirks at her.

“See?” She smirks back. “ _Growth_.”

*

Once she is dismissed in the mid-afternoon, Ellie meets up with Olly at a cake shop nearby for a coffee. He spends most of the time regaling her with tales of his girlfriend, Laura, who is – he insists – soon to be his fiancée. Laura is Danish, bisexual, and has three degrees. Olly enjoys the fact that she is bisexual because it means she has chosen him not only over all the men in the world but all the women too. Ellie nods and smiles politely. She’s very happy for her nephew, but also very happy he no longer lives in Broadchurch.

*

After his therapy appointment, Alec has to go straight to Fred’s karate class for their belt ceremony. He makes it with time to spare and quickly finds Molly amongst the parents while the children mill about in the center of the studio in their uniforms.

“Hi there, sorry,” he says breathlessly as he approaches.

Aila leans out of Molly’s arms toward her father. He gladly scoops her up.

“No bother.” Molly slings her bag over her shoulder. “Fred’s a bit keyed up, I warn you. He was karate chopping all of Aila’s block towers earlier.”

Alec chuckles. “I’d expect nothin’ less.”

Aila, pacifier in her mouth, is laying her head contentedly on his shoulder, fingers tightly gripping his lapel.

“This one took a tumble this morning, smacked herself on a chair in the dining room,” Molly adds. “She’s no worse for wear really and didn’t even shed a tear, but she may be a bit black and blue later on.”

Alec looks down at his daughter. “What’s that now? Did you take a wee tumble?” He kisses the top of her head. “Where should I expect the damage?”

Molly gently touches her finger to Aila’s left brow. “Right about here.”

“Oh, sweet darlin’.” Alec kisses the same spot. “Right, thanks for the warnin’.”

She pats Aila’s back briefly. “Oh, and I do think switching to one long nap in the middle of the day will make good sense for her.”

Alec nods. “Good, thanks. We’ll wait on it ‘til Ellie gets back.”

“Right then. See you in the morning!”

As Molly exits, Fred comes running toward his father, having finally spotted him.

“Daddy!” Fred crashes into his legs, startling Aila, who raises her head with a frown.

“All right, mate?” Alec ruffles his hair. “Hear you’ve been a holy terror for Molly this afternoon.”

“I’ve just been _practicing_ ,” Fred explains. “I have to be the _best_.”

“Don’t have to be the best, lad,” Alec tells him. “Just have to _do_ your best.”

“Smashing blocks helps me do my best,” he replies matter-of-factly. “And it’s so funny when Ailie gets cross. Her face gets all red and frowny. Like yours.”

Alec sighs. He looks down and sees the Aila is in fact frowning at her brother even _now_ , eyes narrowed, brows furrowed. Quite comical combined with the pacifier in her mouth.

“You’re not to torture your sister in the name of karate practice,” Alec informs him. “You can build your own block towers and then destroy them if that’s what you need to do.”

Fred looks around shiftily, avoiding commitment to this plan. “Is Mumma gonna watch on FaceTime?”

Alec reaches for the mobile in his pocket. “I’m gonna film it and then send it to her,” he replies. “Then I can send it to Daisy and Granddad and Auntie Lucy as well.”

“Okay!”

Fred runs back off into the cluster of children. Alec finds a place in the corner to wait until the proceedings begin. Away from prying eyes, he presses his lips to Aila’s head and rocks her gently back and forth.

*

Incredibly, Lucy rings Ellie as she’s walking back to her hotel.

“What on earth,” is how Ellie answers her mobile.

“You had tea with Olly,” Lucy replies.

“Coffee and _literally_ forty-five seconds ago.” She looks both ways as she sprints across the street during a lull in traffic. “There’s something wrong with you.”

“How did he seem?”

“He seemed fine. Is there cause for concern I’m unaware of?”

“No,” Lucy answers defensively. “Just curious.”

“Lucy, your child is twice the age of my _eldest_ child,” Ellie tells her. “He doesn’t need spying on.”

“D’you think he’ll bring Laura home for Christmas?” Lucy asks, ignoring her.

“Unless they go to Copenhagen, I expect so.”

There’s a pause. “…D’you think they’ll go to _Copenhagen_?”

“I’ve absolutely no idea.” She spots her hotel in the distance. “He seems very fond of her and has declared his intent to marry her. Though he’s not yet asked and did not mention when he might do. That’s all I know.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” Ellie walks into the hotel lobby out of the cold. “Just got back to my hotel, I’ll speak to you later, yeah?”

“Oh posh lady with her posh bloody hotel room!”

“ _Bye, Lucy_.”

*

In her hotel room, Ellie quickly changes into black skinny jeans and a nice purple top. She refreshes her makeup, does a half-hearted sweep of her inbox, then sits on the edge of the bed with her mobile. With a grin on her face the entire time, she watches the video of Fred’s karate belt ceremony. Then she FaceTimes them, but Alec does not answer.

She waits a moment, in the hopes that he’ll phone her right back, but several minutes pass in silence. With a disappointed sigh, she grabs her coat, her bag, and her room key, then slips out the door.

*

Alec sits down to supper with Fred and Aila, both wildly energetic, and finds his mobile in his coat pocket. He’s surprised not to have heard from Ellie since early this afternoon.

Aila bangs her plastic spoon on her tray enthusiastically. She doesn’t quite know how to use it yet, but she insists upon being the one to hold it nonetheless.

“Ah, bugger,” Alec mutters under his breath, seeing the two missed FaceTime calls from Ellie.

There’s a text beneath the notifications. **Sorry to miss you. Off to Annie’s. Lots of love.**

He drops his head into his hands with a groan just in time for Aila to pelt him with peas.

*

Ellie is happily in her socks, a glass of wine in her hand, as she sits on Annie’s sofa with her feet tucked into the cushions. Annie sits on the floor nearby, close to the cheese plate on the coffee table.

“Bet you thought a few days in London would be a bit more glamorous.”

Ellie snorts. “I’m never happier than when I’m in my socks, you know that.”

“You know, I was thinking this morning of when we were in sixth form,” Annie says. “And you were so fixated on having _two houses_ when you grew up. You would never say where, that wasn’t important, just that you would have _two_. A place to go to when you tired of the first one.”

She laughs. “Think I contemplated having two _families_ as well, didn’t I.”

“Yes!” Annie squeals. “You’d have two families and you’d never be bored.”

“No, but I’d be bloody _knackered_.”

They both laugh. Ellie reaches over and grabs a piece of cheese from the platter.

“Christ, I can barely manage with one family,” she continues. “Last night was the most sleep I’ve gotten in ages. And even that wasn’t much.”

Annie makes a face. “But tell me that’s at least partially because there’s a sexy Scot in your bed.”

Ellie is sipping her wine and nearly spits it out. She lowers her glass again. “Well. I s’pose there _are_ nights when we do have our…priorities.”

“See. Sleep is overrated.”

“ _Sometimes_ ,” Ellie agrees.

Annie reaches for the bottle of wine just as the sofa starts vibrating.

“Oh.” Ellie sits up and starts feeling around the cushions for her mobile. “Ah. It’s home. Do you mind?”

“No, please.” Annie pours herself a large glass of wine.

Ellie accepts the FaceTime and immediately there’s the familiar din of home. Aila is screeching and Fred is whining and Alec is chiding them.

“MUMMA!” Fred shouts finally. It seems as if he’s stolen the iPad from his father. “Did you see my video?”

“I did see your video, little love, I’m so proud,” Ellie gushes. “My clever boy, well done.”

“Noooo,” Fred complains suddenly and there appears to be a scuffle. Then Aila starts crying loudly.

“Fred!” Alec says sharply.

“What’s happened?” Ellie leans forward, staring at the screen. Annie looks at her quizzically.

“Hang on, El,” Alec calls to her. “It’s all right, darlin’.” She hears him comforting Aila off-screen.

“Fred, what’s all this?” Ellie demands again.

“Ailie got in my way,” Fred replies with a severe pout. “It’s _my_ turn to speak to you. _Not_ hers.”

Aila is still crying in the background.

“Have you hurt her, Fred?”

“She’s all right!” Alec calls again from off-screen.

“She can’t get in my way,” Fred says.

“It is _not_ okay to treat your sister that way, Fred, you know that,” Ellie scolds him. “No matter the situation. You don’t shove her, you don’t hit her, you don’t pinch her.”

“But – “

“I don’t want to hear it. Go up to your room now. I’ll leave it to your father to take it from there.”

“But Mumma, it’s my time to talk to you!” He exclaims.

“Yes and you spoiled it for yourself. Go on, up you go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Fred drops the iPad on the carpet and the screen goes dark. Ellie reaches for her wine glass with her free hand and takes a long sip. She shakes her head at Annie. Then Alec picks up the device and comes into view, as does Aila, sitting on his lap.

With a black eye.

“Oh my god!” Ellie exclaims. “What on earth – “

“Ah, no, this is from earlier,” Alec says quickly. “Fred just pushed her over and she slid off the sofa.”

Ellie grimaces. “What happened earlier!?”

“Banged herself on a chair leg this morning.”

“Oh, my sweet bug, what a time you’ve had.” Aila, her eyes wet and glassy, reaches out and flexes her fingers at Ellie. “I know, love, it’s all right.” She glances up at Alec. “Christ, what a shiner.”

“Just appeared not too long ago,” he tells her. “I’ve attempted to ice it but she’s not havin’ it.”

“Try a damp tea towel while you give her her bottle,” Ellie suggests. “Oh, my love,” she coos at Aila again.

“Mumumumum,” Aila says pitifully.

“I know, baby. Mummy will be home tomorrow,” she tells her. “Before you know it.”

“Where are you?” Alec asks, holding the iPad away from Aila so he can get a better look at her.

“I’m at Annie’s.” She turns the screen to show her friend on the floor.

“Hi, Alec,” she says. “Hello, sweet Aila!”

“Ah, hello, Annie.” Alec nods at her.

Ellie turns the screen back to her.

“Mumumumum,” Aila whines again.

Then there’s the sound of loud stomping coming from Fred’s room upstairs. Alec sighs.

“Better go,” he says.

“I’m so sorry, love. I’ll ring you before I go to bed,” Ellie says. “Good luck.”

“Right, speak soon.”

He ends the call. Ellie tosses her mobile to the other side of the sofa and collapses backward with a groan.

After a moment, Annie says, “Bit of sibling rivalry, eh?”

“No,” Ellie sighs. “Aila adores her brother, both her brothers. Fred lets his jealousy get the better of him sometimes. He hasn’t any patience with her. Truly they’re all right most of the time, but then he has these stormy moments with her where he just can’t take it.”

Annie nods. “But that’s normal, right?”

“Fairly, yeah. Doesn’t make it fun.”

Annie nods again sympathetically, then reaches for the bottle and fills Ellie’s glass all the way to the top.

“Last night of freedom,” she says. “Drink up, baby.”

*

Shortly after the little ones have been put to bed, Alec is seated at the dining room table with his laptop open. When he hears the front door creak, he raises his head to listen. Heavy footsteps. Obviously Tom.

“Hey, mate!” He calls out, turning back to his laptop.

“Oh hey,” Tom calls back. “Just heading straight to bed.”

But then he hears a second pair of footsteps. He abruptly closes his laptop, pushes back his chair, and walks briskly down the hall just in time to catch two teenagers absconding up the stairs.

Alec loudly clears his throat. Guiltily, Tom and a teenage girl trudge back down the stairs to the foyer.

“And who might this be?”

“I’m Chelsea,” the girl says, shoving her hands in her coat pocket.

“ _Ah_.”

“Chels, this is my, um. My stepdad, this is Alec.” Tom gestures awkwardly between them.

Alec holds out a hand for her to shake, which she does, tepidly.

“The famous Chelsea,” he says, well aware he’ll be embarrassing Tom. “Good to meet you finally.”

Chelsea looks shyly at her shoes. “Yeah, you too.”

“Sorry I’ll need to be sendin’ you on your way so soon. But it’s a school night, isn’t it.”

Tom and Chelsea exchange rueful glances.

“Right, yeah, sorry,” she says.

“Yeah. We were just gonna do some revision anyway, but yeah – yeah, it’s late,” Tom stammers.

Alec nods, looking sternly from one teenager to the other.

“Chelsea, how long would you say the drive is from here to your house?” He questions.

“Uh. Six minutes maybe.”

“I see.” Alec nods, then looks to Tom. “Run her home. If you’re not back _thirteen minutes_ – granting you one extra minute out of the kindness of my heart – you’ll be babysitting the next two weekends in a row.”

“Right.” Tom grabs the keys to Ellie’s car out of the key bowl.

“…Nice to meet you,” Chelsea says. “And – sorry.”

Alec stands in the doorway and watches them get into the car. He makes a show out of setting his watch. “Drive safe.”

*

It’s not even eleven when Ellie drags her exhausted body into her hotel room. She halfheartedly brushes her teeth and washes her face then nearly bursts into tears when she realizes she still has to pump. She falls asleep in the chair even as the machine is going.

When she finally crawls into bed, she can barely keep her eyes open. She sends a text to Alec.

**So sorry, completely knackered. Body shutting down. I love you madly.**

And then she’s asleep before the mobile falls out of her hand.

*

Alec doesn’t sleep that night at all. He tosses, turns, kicks off the duvet, punches and tosses pillows, and scrolls on his mobile into oblivion.

*

In the morning, she phones him just as she’s preparing for the day. She has him on speaker as she washes, brushes, dresses, primps, and then packs. He talks to her about Tom and Chelsea. About Fred’s little episode. About Aila’s black eye. She tells him perhaps more than she should about the previous day’s court proceedings. But, she reasons, he’d have been called to testify if she’d been unable to, so it’s all relative.

“What time does your train get in?” He asks as she’s zipping up her suitcase.

“Around three, but I’ll have Luce come and get me. _One_ of us should be at work, at least.” She can _hear_ him frowning a hundred miles away. “I’ll pop straight home and see Aila.”

“That’ll be right during Aila’s nap,” he reminds her. “I’m comin’ to get you.”

*

Outside the train station, Alec leans against his car as he watches Ellie’s train pull in. Only a few passengers disembark at Broadchurch, Ellie being the last of them to come into view. Her pace quickens when she spots him, her suitcase rolling behind her.

“Hey pretty lady, want a ride?”

She lets go of her suitcase and throws her arms around his neck. He buries his face in hers.

“Fuck, I already feel ten times better,” Ellie gasps.

He presses his lips to her neck. “Don’t think I could’ve gone another hour.”

With a joyful grin, she pulls back just enough to kiss him, holding him against her by his coat. He pushes back against the car door, matching her enthusiasm, and slipping his arms into her coat and around her waist.

Alec sighs happily into her mouth, relishing the warmth and softness of her breasts pressed against him, her fingers in his hair.

“We’re not built for this whole ‘absence blah blah fonder’ thing,” Ellie says breathlessly before pulling him back in for another kiss.

“Couldn’t possibly _be_ fonder of you,” he agrees. “So it’s entirely wasted on us.”

“Let’s never do it again.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

They grin at each other.

“Good god, you are lovely,” Alec exhales.

“Take me home.”

*

At the house, they send Molly home early. Aila has been asleep for about an hour, she tells them, handing over the video monitor on her way out the door.

With the closing of the front door, Ellie immediately says, “Tea.” And heads for the kitchen.

“I’ll bring your things upstairs,” Alec says, reaching for her suitcase.

When he returns to her, she’s standing at the counter tossing teabags into two mugs.

“Is it weird that I _truly_ missed my mug?” Ellie asks.

He comes up behind her, his arms circling her waist, lips in her hair.

“There’s just nothing more comforting and familiar than your mug,” she concludes, leaning back into his embrace.

“Mm.” He kisses her hair, behind her ear, then nips at her earlobe.

She feels a rush of warmth, her whole body tingling, and she can’t stop smiling.

“Do you know,” she says. “That we’ve been apart less than sixty hours?”

“Well.” He snorts. “ _Mathematically_.”

He dips a few fingers past the waistband of her jeans and runs them back and forth lightly.

“As opposed to what exactly?” Ellie laughs. She can feel a growing hardness in his trousers and this, too, brings her a strange amount of comfort. Among other things.

“Time isn’t maths,” Alec tells her before tracing the outline of her ear with the tip of his tongue. “Time is personal. What’s sixty hours logically in the world isn’t necessarily sixty hours for us.”

She closes her eyes and lets out an unconscious sigh. His other hand travels upward to cup her breast through her top.

“For me, a minute without you is an hour.”

As dizzy and boneless as she’s beginning to feel, she can’t help herself quipping, “What you’re saying is you measure our time in dog years.”

He bites her earlobe. The electric kettle whistles.

“Don’t move,” he says.

She complies, all of her weight leaning back into him. He keeps one hand in her jeans and with the other hand deftly pours boiling hot water into each of the mugs. The fact that he recognizes the equal importance of sex and tea makes her utterly weak with love for him. It also makes her giggle softly. Then his hand is back on her breast. His breath is hot on her skin.

“You know the baby could wake anytime,” she reminds him, somewhat reluctantly.

“Yes, and until _then_ …”

He spins her around then lifts her up onto the counter, moving between her knees. She runs her fingers through his hair again, pushing it away from his eyes.

“My handsome husband.” She kisses his cheeks, his nose, underneath his eyes, all while stroking his hair.

“You did miss me then,” Alec confirms with a crooked smile.

“ _Love_ ,” Ellie replies with a sigh. “Just because I can manage to have a good time without you doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. I missed you terribly.” She kisses him softly, once, then again. “I’m also so, so grateful that I have such an incredible husband, handling everything on his own without complaint, to support me. It makes everything so much easier. For me to be able to truly _relax_ …there’s no price to be put on it.”

“Ach.” He grimaces a bit. “Shouldn’t have to thank me for that.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t.”

He chuckles. “I love you.”

She pulls him in closer, circling him with her legs and locking her ankles. He slides his hands up her back underneath her top.

“Good now snog me before the baby wakes,” she demands.

He doesn’t hesitate for a second in capturing her lips, over and over, his tongue desperately exploring her mouth. He keeps one hand on her arse, the other squeezing her breast through her bra. His thumb passes over her nipple causing her to moan approvingly against his lips. It grows slowly into a frenzy, Ellie grabbing his arse as he pushes her top up over her breasts so he can put his mouth on them. She leans back against the cabinet, arching her back into him, then she remembers her bra clasp is in the front and suddenly unsnaps it. He briefly raises his head to look up at her with nothing short of _glee_ before taking a breast into his mouth with a guttural moan. She whimpers a bit, yanking at his hair while he circles her nipple with his tongue.

“ _God_ ,” she groans.

Without pausing his ministrations, he unbuttons and then swiftly unzips her jeans. He manages to pull them at least halfway down without removing his mouth from her. But then he grudgingly lifts his head and steps back, peeling them down and off her ankles.

He looks at her intently, eyes dark and breathing heavily, and she returns the gaze wholeheartedly, approving of his unspoken plan. She raises her hips and he roughly tugs off her knickers. With a devious growl, he lifts both her legs over his shoulders then buries himself between them.

“Oh please,” Ellie gasps out, gripping the edge of the counter tightly.

He teases her with his tongue, lightly circling her clit, then plunging it inside her. She immediately cries out, moving one hand to his head and holding him there.

“Don’t stop.”

“Not gonna _stop_ ,” he insists dubiously, sinking his teeth into the inside of her thigh just before returning his tongue to her clit.

He alternates between sucking and licking, squeezing her thighs with his hands, reveling in each desperate little noise that he elicits from her.

“Oh, fuck, Alec,” she exhales, pushing into him.

“Mmm.” He laps at her contentedly like he’s soothing her before sending her over.

“ _Please_.”

He doubles down on her clit. She pulls his hair and slams her head back on the cupboard.

“You’re so fucking good,” she whimpers.

He smiles smugly against her before working the tip of his tongue to finish her off. She cries out loudly, surprisingly unabashed, and he keeps going even after he’s made her come.

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck_.” She comes a second time, slapping one hand hard on the counter. “Jesus _fucking_ christ.”

He plants kisses on the inside of her thigh for a moment as she recovers. She lets go of his hair finally and he raises himself up to kiss her lips briefly before wiping his mouth with a paper napkin and then taking a sip of his tea with great satisfaction.

She’s still catching her breath but then she holds her hand out. “Give me mine.”

He places her still warm mug in her hand and chuckles as she takes a sip.

“Fucking incredible,” she praises him over the rim of her mug.

“Thank you very much.” He nods politely and raises his mug at her.

She takes another sip, then slides off the counter and pulls her knickers back on. They both sip their tea and smile demurely at each other. Then a few noises begin to grow in volume from the baby monitor. Aila’s cries are interspersed with nonsense words and sounds, betraying the tears as half-hearted.

“Such a little actress,” Ellie says, picking up the monitor to look at the screen.

“Yes, life is so hard, I’ve woken from my nap and now I’m somehow utterly bereft,” Alec mocks her.

Ellie pulls her jeans back on. “I’ll go surprise her.” She looks at her watch. “You ought to go fetch Fred, I reckon.”

“Mm.” He agrees, looking at his watch as well. “Right.” He pulls her against him and kisses her lips. “To be continued.”

“Oh yes,” Ellie replies. “Absolutely.”

*

Ellie tiptoes down the upstairs hallway toward the closed door of Aila’s nursery. As quietly as possible, she turns the doorknob and slowly pushes the door open, popping her head in.

Aila is standing up in her crib, holding onto the bars, pushing herself back and forth eagerly. She looks up when she hears the creak of the door. When she sees her mother’s face, her eyes widen in surprise and it takes her a moment to fully process.

“Hello, my lovely little bug.”

Aila’s face lights up once the sound of Ellie’s voice has confirmed the sight before her. She squeals and begins bouncing excitedly. “Mumumumumum.” She lets go of the bars to hold her arms up as Ellie moves closer, but she loses her balance and plops down.

“There’s my sweet girl.” Ellie reaches into the crib and scoops her up. “There she is.” She squeezes Aila tightly to her, unable to get her close enough, almost like she’s trying to pull the baby back inside her. “Oh, my tiny love with your little black eye.”

Aila smashes her face into Ellie’s chest, rubbing her little nose on her top, and grabs a handful of the fabric. Though typically a squirmy thing, the baby allows herself to be held tightly for quite a while, rocked back and forth by her mother.

“Mmmmm- _ma_.”

Soon enough she starts pulling at Ellie’s neckline, mouthing at the tops of her breasts.

“Right.” Ellie moves to the rocking chair. Aila nurses ravenously, with a sort of relief, holding Ellie’s breast with both hands possessively. “Relax, sweet girl. I’m all yours. I’m not going anywhere.”

*

When Alec returns home with Fred, Ellie has just finished nursing. She holds the baby on her hip and meets them in the foyer.

“MUMMA.”

Fred hurls himself at her legs, crashing into her at full force. Aila tightens her legs around Ellie, making it known that she refuses to give up claim to her mother for her brother’s sake.

“I missed you, my little love.” Ellie kneels down to his level. Aila tightens her legs even more.

Fred stares at her. “Put her down.”

“I’m afraid she’s a bit clingy at the moment.”

“But it’s _my_ turn now, put her down.”

“Fred,” Alec says, taking a step toward them, hands in his pockets.

“She’s my mumma too!” Fred exclaims, tears beginning to gather in his eyes.

“Sweetheart, I’m right here,” Ellie says calmly. She raises up off her knees. “We can do whatever you like.”

Alec reaches out for Aila, hoping to dispel the tension, but Aila won’t budge, not even for her father.

“All right.” Ellie kisses Aila’s cheek, then runs a hand across Fred’s hair. “It’s all right.”

“I wanna hug you just _me_ ,” Fred whines.

Ellie looks at Alec helplessly. His returned is sympathetic, but equally powerless.

“Tell you what, Fred.” She looks down at her son and squeezes his arm. “You go start your reading practice with Daddy in the kitchen. In a few minutes Aila will relax and I’ll come join you.”

“And Daddy will take her away?” Fred asks.

Ellie and Alec exchange glances again. Then he sighs and nods.

“I’ll take her ‘round the neighborhood in her buggy,” he decides. “All right?”

“Okay.”

Alec helps Fred take off his coat. “Go on into the kitchen and choose your snack, I’ll be right in.”

Fred runs off down the hallway.

“ _Sixty hours_ , Alec,” Ellie bemoans with a sigh. “That’s all it took.”

“They’ll both be fine in a minute,” Alec tells her. “Won’t you, Aila?”

Aila lays her head on Ellie’s shoulder decisively.

“We’ll sort it,” he assures his wife. He squeezes her free arm. “Now you see how much we all missed you.”

The baby looks up at her mother. “Mummum.”

“I know,” Ellie replies, patting her back with a sigh. “I know.”

***


End file.
